Social media cheats, but for now I am here to stay.
I’m not breaking up yet–LinkedIn–but the spark is gone.
Illustration by Cathy Libnic
“Our culture is powerfully shaped by the publishers of history books and the compendiums of debate and rhetoric, the creators of podcasts, the magazine editors who come up with the “10 best” lists, the conference organizers, the award givers, and all the other gatekeepers of our culture and shapers of our heritage.”
The excerpt above is from the article “Dear Jon Meacham, why I’m breaking up with you.” Speech collector Dana Rubin is spot-on, no?
Like me, Dana is a fierce gender equality advocate, (and from my childhood stomping ground, Westchester County).
Back in 2019 2 weeks before I founded my business, Dana became a LinkedIn “connection”. This was back when I was still a LinkedIn evangelizer. Before my networking-via-social crush wavered. Before designers added “stories” to every social network. (Fleet?! Come on.)
When I received Dana’s DM (below), I remember feeling psyched. I moved another advocate enough to say ‘thanks for engaging in this work’. My words felt relevant enough for her to reach out, as did my work and bio.
The exchange stuck with me because Dana was kind, but also she was boldly saying the damn thing.
No doubt, seeing her fight to amplify all women’s voices assuaged any doubt I had that I was on the right path. It also confirmed my hypothesis: my words have power. My ideas hold value beyond killer scoping strategies.
Dana reassured me. I can, and should, say the damn thing, too.
I can, and should, say the damn thing, too.
Our first chat on LinkedIn.
Approaching 2021, I’m reflecting on my 1st year in business. I regard Dana as my first connection as the new me. Founder, consultant, and social entrepreneur.
Since then, I’ve connected with over 1000 talented, innovative, equality advocates online. Workplace researchers. Conscious language writers. Data viz designers. Septuagenarian social enterprise leaders. Radical economists. Mutual Aid organizers. Systems change consultants. DEIB podcasters.
2020 shifted our perspectives, exposed even more truths. Truth: With so many inspiring people, it can some time to write back.
My turn.
This post isn’t really a Dear John letter to LinkedIn. It’s more of a Dear Dana one — in solidarity, thanks, and hope, from one writer to another. As a history nerd, amplifier, and Jewish New Yorker, you speak my language. I question the past, present, and future too. Persuading people through personal stories mixed with data is my jam, too.
I’m also on a mission to make sure all *women’s great ideas make it into the world, including yours.
As the founder of Speaking While Female, you ensure women’s ideas live on. I wholeheartedly support your endeavor to catalog and reference these speeches. An anthology hosting our cannon of words is a moral imperative.
Beyond that, Dana, your letter to Meacham is a strong example of how to call out (male) leaders who missed the memo. It’s interesting, personal, and succinct. A solid argument in favor of gender representation.
You deftly bring in hidden treasures he overlooked. By sharing lesser-known female orators, you simultaneously point out the obvious patriarchal B.S. and his laziness.
Plus, your article gets at something close to my heart. Who is telling writing history?
Who is telling the stories? Who is shaping our future? Who defines “The Great Reset”? Who pushes culture and theories forward? Who gets counted? Who’s content do we see, and who decides?
Like you, I am disappointed ten times a day at least. Where are all the damn women?!
I founded my business as a direct result of one observation — the same one that spurred yours, I imagine — a lack of diverse representation.
We are outnumbered, despite data, (and Melinda Gates), declaring women the lynchpin of the future.
Our opinions are still buried, even after 500 women scientists declared an end to “manels”. Look at the rhetoric used by GOP for the coronavirus. Look at the media, our electorate, climate deniers, anti-vaxxers, Proud Boys et al.
Women write. We build. We vote. We lead. And, as you point out, Dana, we give groundbreaking speeches that can move mountains (and always have). But, our voices keep getting left out!
How many ideas will be lost to time?
Early this year, The Lily looked at the staggering decline of women publishing compared to a 50% increase in research submissions from men. Women’s frustrations trying to “get it done” have only compounded since the spring.
Who can publish, let alone write anything when your work schedule is at the mercy of kids in virtual school? Flow state can’t happen when your dueling zoom calls. Writing can happen only at the trade-off of sleep and leisure.
Even while moving the needle towards equality, our foothold is slipping. 1 million women left the workforce this fall; our numbers are not bouncing back.
With the lack of change from a national reckoning with race, (and clear election results somehow in question) it’s hard to not ask: Does my voice even matter? The confirmation of Amy Cohen Barrett (and Kavanaugh) leaves plenty of room for doubt. Of course, the truth is we’re needed now more than ever!
Startups, STEMM, journalism, creative, economic, and tech worlds continue to struggle with gender inclusion. Needless to say, the numbers are worse for Black and Brown women and girls. This leads to unsafe spaces. Social media is no exception.
The loudest voices, amplified by every social platform, belong to white men. Other voices continue to be muffled. And, as Ashanti Martin said, voices belong to Black women aren’t even a whisper. One by-product: social media is rife with risks to our safety.
There’s plenty of ways for virtually any tech company to be complicit in supporting sexism, racism, disinformation, and amplifying hate. Often, problems are hidden in every layer of tech and communications. Just ask Nandini Jammi. It’s not just the racist tweet, or the unmoderated platform; it’s the bot that sent it or the media buys that boost it.
We are overdue for virtual spaces that celebrate women’s voices, instead of silence them.
As Joy Buolamwini, M.I.T. researcher and creator of the documentary Coded Bias says: “Technology should serve us all, not the privileged few.”
If everything hinges on engagement, by design, tech is inequitable. Broken algorithms dictate the content we see in our feeds — how can we even engage with what we want?!
I’m not being “fed” what I want…I’m forced to eat some other (expletive) from the get-go. Content I want like Dana’s Meacham article: absent. Posts by conservative talking heads, complaining about men wearing dresses? They still make the cut.
Equality must baked-in from the start. It’s much harder to stave off bias downstream.
Now What?
If women want our content seen, the designers of these platforms ensure it won’t be. In fact, it was Cindy Gallop amplifying your Break-up article that made it to my feed, Dana. Your post, not so much. (It’s clearly content I’d want to read.)
Algorithms treat us like nagging wives. (I know because I track my post- views.) My posts with gender or anti-racism information get fewer views than any of my content about the g.d. election or the economy.
I posted only one LinkedIn article. I wrote about this very subject in July. I tried to sound the alarm: Someone do something, quick, or more women’s voices will be left out.
It had 2 views for the first several weeks; last I checked it had 25. I have 2500+ 1st connections.
So, why don’t we leave LinkedIn or Twitter (besides addiction)?
It makes us feel part of something bigger.
We still find great people online, and many transfer IRL
Like a bad job, we keep hoping it will get better.
We’re actively looking for something better. Or we’re building it.
For me, during the pandemic, as well as being self-employed, it’s been key to my survival, (economic), and connection, (mental health). It’s been like one big water cooler moment.
And it’s how I (and others) met fellow blue-haired, take-me-for-who-I-am, DEI workplace advocate, Madison Butler.
“I am a Black, queer woman navigating the tech and startup world; it didn’t take long for me to realize that this was not a world that was created for me. My intent is to change the status quo that exists in corporate America. We are conditioned to believe there is a mold you have to fit into in order to be successful and that is just not true. I am committed to using my voice to create equitable spaces for marginalized communities.”
Madison is a prime example of a voice Linkedin should amplify. She’s a strong voice in workplace inclusion. She educates daily on showing up authentically, and how not to be racist or homophobic.
LinkedIn claims allyship; seemingly it’s performative. They briefly took down Madison’s account, seemingly for her pronouns. They somehow missed her on LinkedIn’s Top 10 Equity in the Workplace list of influencers. Sharon Hurley spells out the shadow bans perfectly.
Black women continue to be harmed by biased tech and unclear community guidelines. They experience shadow bans and account suspensions. Right-wing trolls attack and harass with impunity.
Needless to say, Madison and I aren’t the only ones that have a love/hate with social media. Others are fed up with Black women’s censorship and gender bias too–Aaisha Joseph, Mervyn Kennedy-MacFoy, Tara Furiani, Theresa M. Robinson, and John J. Cousens to name a few. Our efforts to build better workplaces have ironically often turned to LinkedIn.
Cindy Gallop, espoused similar frustration with social media’s uneven hand. A post announcing an IG live, of two fully clothed women sex-tech founders, was censored by Instagram for…for what? For alluding to nudity? Baffling. Along with her followers, Cindy is regularly “gobsmacked” by the sexist bias in social content.
Meanwhile, misogynist men tweet over 20,000 blatant lies unfettered. Many vowed to log off social media after the election for this very reason. How long will we use a platform that selectively amplifies ideas, and straight-up silences Black women?
The debate continues, (if only in my head). I’m breaking up; it’s over. I make half-hearted declarations: I’m leaving you for good this time! Then I’m back discussing what would make social media better on these very same platforms. The irony is not lost on me.
So, LinkedIn, I’m putting some distance between us. We’re not over, but “we’re taking a break”. Till then, I’m playing “you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone” on repeat.
I’m forever grateful for my rich LinkedIn network. But, I work for myself now. Discrimination and lack of diverse voices are why I started my business in the first place. This uphill battle is a time suck; I would rather “Build Back [way] Better” than continue to point out what’s broken.
I want to grow my business, rather than fuel a multinational company’s bottom line. Bonus: I might actually reach my audience when I have something to say.
My contributions deserve compensation. At the moment I am an unpaid LinkedIn moderator, at best.
“FU. Pay me” image from Cindy Gallop
And, why am I paying them $30/month?! As Cindy says, F**k you. Pay me.
Tech CEOs and engineers only want our voices on their platforms because we’re free labor. They’ll reap the benefits, whether or not they deem our words worthy.
As Madison points out, we know we’re worthy and deserve equal representation. We have plenty to add to speech anthologies (and everywhere else). Women’s diatribes are essential to a full, accurate, inclusive history. On behalf of the 51%, Dana, I thank you for ensuring our words transcend time.
I’ll continue to join you, Cindy, Madison, Nandini, Joy, and countless women in this uphill battle.
Thankfully, we know we exist. We are listening to each other.
We must keep up the fight to be heard, to be seen, recorded, published, printed, and broadcast (and elected)! We must for each of us to be counted, especially in Elections. After all, if we’re not counted, it’s almost as if we don’t exist.
Thankfully, we know we exist. We are listening to each other.
And, LinkedIn, on behalf of 660 million users: Listen up. Do better.
*Women means anyone who self-identifies as a woman in a way that is meaningful to them. Additionally, anyone who identifies as non-binary, non-gender conforming, or genderqueer is very welcome here. (Language from WERC Space, a platform from the WFN.) Allies too!
